His birthday party is today. This is the last year that we are going to one of those places with all of the moonwalks because they are so expensive.
We took him to Joe's Crab Shack last night, and gave him all kinds of presents just from us (the parents). He has been saying little things that make him seem like such an ingrate, and I am really at the end of my rope.
Last night, I was singing along with a song that came on, and he said, "Can you sing that in your head?"
I replied, "No. I will sing it out loud if I want to. Deal with it."
He retorted, "Well, you're annoying me, and it needs to stop."
MY father would have popped me in the mouth for that, and I wouldn't get anything cool from them for a LONG time (if ever) if I said something like that.
What is his problem? Is this normal? How do I deal with this?|||Although I hate to make a statement based on so little evidence, I have had some personal experience with Asperger's Syndrome, and something about this is prodding a neuron.
For the record, I have a mild case of Asperger's, but a friend of mine has a twelve-year old stepson who has a rather more advanced form. His difficulties lie in the area of speaking his mind; often, with forms of autism such as Asperger's, people (particularly as children) have trouble differentiating between thought and vocalisation. Sometimes we all think bad things, but in the normal course of events, we don't usually say them out loud.
I won't say any more, because a) I don't want to worry you and put ideas in your head, and b) I could very well be wrong. This is just a suggestion. In the end, your son is probably just going through a stroppy phase, and he wouldnt be the first!
Nevertheless, if this is worrying you so much, and if he continues in this vein, your doctor should be able to refer you to a child psychologist who, if needs be, can conduct the necessary tests to determine if there is some form of high-function autism at work here.
Whatever happens, hang in there.|||Ok, I have an 8 year old son. He has been doing the exact same thing to me for a few months now. I got sick and tired of it and decided to do something about it. I tried punishment. I tried taking stuff away and he just decided he didn't care. So, I went the other way. I put him on a reward system. He has to earn 20 marbles in 7 days. On the 7th day if he has earned 20 marbles he gets to do an activity, which he got to choose on the first day.
He can earn marbles for puting away his dinner dishes, cleaning up his toys, doing homework, cleaning his room. This is also a good way to try to add good behavior that he has been resisting. For example my son NEVER puts his clothes in the hamper, so i told him he gets a marble for remembering and loses one for forgetting. The crabbing about doing homework will go away if he gets a marble for doing it. BUT, he also looses marbles for talking back, disobeying, not doing homework, not putting away dinner dishes, not puttig away dirty clothes, not cleaning up toys.
This worked so well. He chose to go to the park on the first week. So we planned it out. He got 24 marbles and I let him write it on the dry erase board. then we went to the park. He was allowed to do anything he wanted the whole time. Then we came home and had dnner, his choice. Then played games he chose. Now this can't be the norm, but for the first time it is necessary to show that it is a big deal. If he doesn't make the 20 by a lot don't let him have it. If he misses it by a little give him extra jobs to make up the differnce.
Please let me know if you use this idea. I would like to know how it worked for you. My son is doing so much better.
Oh and, all kids are different. Not every child is going to be an angel 100% of the time. He is not out of control, just a kid. Don't freak out, just ask around. Also, time outs work, but only once in a while. Nowadays parents have to do things differnetly than back then. In most homes both parents work or are not toegther. Then out of a mixture of guilt and love we buy them more than we should. This spoils them and then we have a problem on our hands becuse they expect it. What they need more than any gift you can give them is your time and your love. They'll take that over 100 playstation games anyday.|||I was having lots of problems with my son who is 7. I was told about this book called Parenting with love and Logic. It makes so much sence!! Since I have applied some of this to the way I handle my son he has done so much better. They say things to hurt you to get reactions You have to not give them one. I took all of my sons stuff out of his room after warning him I would and he has had to earn it back. Buy the Book I am so thankful I did it is amazing!!|||I have a seven year old son and lately he's been acting rude to me, just like your son was rude to you. I would suggest giving your son a time out make him sit in a chair facing the wall or where ever and make him do nothing but just sit there for say 8 mintues no talking or anything, if he talks or gets up start the time over again until he sits there doing nothing for the time limit. That is what I have been doing with my son when he acts out or is rude to me or anyone else. When he's done with his time out I make him tell me why he was put in the time and and tell him that he needs to say he is sorry. It's working so far. Good Luck with your son, hope this helps alittle.|||You need to get a hold of his behavior. I'm not saying pop the little guy but you need to tell him that you are his mother and he should not speak to you like that. Use a strong tone while still maintaning your patience. If this does not phase him then use the time out system. Take things away from him, ground him. His behavior may be bad now but if you do nothing then it will only get worse.|||Listen, do as your father does and if he does the same thing back to you say,"That's it! I've had it with you!!! You are to go to your room and is grounded until that foul mouth of yours is fixed!" They will probably cry, but you have to do what you have to do to help your child. I am a 12 year old kid so if you think I don't know what its like then your wrong. Then after you both calm down a bit, go up to his room and explain to him that it is bad to say bad stuff and explain how it will damage his future. Hug him and say,"If there is something on your mind that is bothering you, you know you can always come to me right?" Let him feel like he can open up to you instead of letting him thinking that he's all alone and he's the only one who really understands his feelings. I hope this info has really helped you!|||I think it's normal for every child at some point to start acting like a brat to see if they can get away with it. What you need to do is put a stop to it. First of all, stop giving him things. Now that my daughter has an allowance she has to buy all of her toys except for the christmas and birthday presents we give her. And we don't give her a truckload, either.
Second, make sure he understands that his rudeness is unacceptable behavior. One method you can use is to give him three tickets in the morning. Every time he makes a rude remark, he loses one ticket. When he loses the last one he's in his room for the rest of the day and has to go to bed at least a half hour early. When you use this system for a target behavior, it is remarkably effective.|||His problem is that you need to set rules of acceptable behaviour for him and appropriate consequences for noncompliance, and always, ALWAYS, follow through no matter what the situation is. Do not make exceptions because it is a special occasion or because you are in a 'delicate' setting.
Right now he doesn't have any set boundaries and he knows it, so he takes advantage of this fact.
BTW What do you mean "seems ungrateful"? He IS ungrateful. There are no doubts to be had concerning the subject.|||Well, why didn't you pop him one for that? Ugh, they can be so terrible. I think in this day and age, we tend to overdo things alot for kids, I mean he is only eight, hoe many gifts did yoiu give him and why?? He feels entitled to his life I suppose. Does he get an allowance? Time for him to realize what money is and how it is earned. Maybe you whould consider going on strike! I imagine he expects you to do things for him all the time. I have a 7 year old and she makes her bed, clears the table after dinner and if she backtalks she is in her room. We always have nice cozy chats at bedtime and she knows how much I love her and we have a mutual respect for each other (hopefully that lasts lol) Good luck - Happy Earth Day!|||My son, who just turned 9 two weeks ago, has a lot of the same behavior you described. I have gone so far as to make an appointment with the pediatrician, hoping the doctor will have some advice on how to handle him. I think the behavior being displayed is normal for children in this day and age but I do not find it acceptable. My son gets that blank stare also whenever I ask him to do his chores. He has refused to do his chores and when I try to enforce our rules he has even gotten violent and hit me.
I spank my children when the situation calls for it, though I have given up spanking his because it just turns into a wrestling match. I have tried taking away things that he likes ( like video games, friends, and television), and I have tried other forms of punishments like increasing his chores. Nothing has worked and his behavior seems to be getting more disrespectful. He says very hurtful things to his father and I and even told his principal at school that he was being abused at home. Once Child Protected Services got involved he admitted he lied about the accusations.
I'm sorry I do not have much advice for you because I have yet to figure out how to effectively handle my own child. However, just be reassured that you are not alone. Be consistant and hopefully your child will understand the difference between what is acceptable and what is not. Good Luck!|||Pretty much normal I'd say.|||How do his classmates treat him? He may be spoken to by them that way and he thinks it's o.k. to talk that way. Regardless, you have to nip it in the bud and tell him you will not be disrespected in that way.|||I agree with what has been said about he is testing you, and I really do not like to say it, but I think he may be winning. All kids seem to go through some sort of stage like this, and if let untreated, it could last a lifetime. Kids know how far they can push their parents. I think they only display this sort of behavior if they know they can get away with it. I have found it very effective to punish EVERY time a wrong behavior is displayed. Punishing half the time gets half time results. Consistancy is best for us. It is also very important for me to learn to pick my battles, also. And honstely, the more I seem to buy for my child, the less she seem to appreciate. So moderation is the key for us. I have had to learn to say no, and stick with it. I wish you the best of luck.|||Sounds like he's a bit spoiled to me, but all kids go through this to some extent. All I can say is learn to be firm with him, tell him that he needs to learn to appreciate the things that people give and do for him, or he won't have anything before long.
The next time he says something hurtful to you, tell him that he was rude and needs to apologize, when he doesn't (most kids won't at first without a reason) take a day to fail to acknowledge his feelings. When he complains about that is when you've got your hook in. Talk to him. Tell him how he made you feel, and explain to him *talk to him like a grown up, most kids don't really listen to you when you treat them like they can't possibly understand you* how it hurts not to be acknowledged. Explain to him that when he did that to you, he hurt you as much as you hurt him. Often, the best teacher is experience, so you need to let him this for himself so he'll know why he can't do it to others.
If he doesn't appreciate the gifts he's given, take them away for a period, until he can thank the giver and mean it. Don't let him get away with the resentful mutter of a thanks, but make sure he means it.|||its a stage he will out grow but you will have to constantly correct him when i was his age i would have gotten a spanking and i do believe in spanking a child properly i know everyone will think i'm horrible for saying this but we got them and i think it made us better people, the bible says spare the rod and you hateth the child, you just have to do what you think is best, i do wish you luck and lots of patience and he really will grow out of this i hope it doesn't drive you crazy in the mean time. i have raise 2 of my own i know its hard|||you need to talk to him about it and when you do you need to talk to him at eye level, don't look down on him.
he needs to be more respectful toward his Mother and Father.
His Father should put his foot down, if you don't, your son will walk all over when he gets to his teenage years.
Stop getting him what he wants, let him earn it.
if capable of trying to be all grown up, let him pay/earn what he wants.
Make sure he does his Homework within a certain time.
No Computer
No Television
No Video Games
No Nothing
It's called Tough Love!
I hope this helps|||Perfectly normal unfortunately. We are going through the same thing with our nine year old. It makes you feel, if this wasn't your own kid, you'd bend him over your knee right in front of everybody, and light his a-- on fire. That's what I would have got. Or like you said, slapped in the mouth. Us as parents have had these rights taken away from us. And that is exactly what is wrong with kids today.|||Your father was right,a good slap on the a**,(not the mouth),would teach him a bit of manners.The so-called 'do-gooders' have a lot to answer for.Having said that,it may be that he is testing the boundries,just to see what he can get away with.If you let him get away with it now,could you handle him when he's 14?16?Someone has to run your home,is it going to be you.or him?|||first of all he shouldn't be allowed to talk to you like that and second maybe he is angry about something and don't know how to say what it is I would talk to him and try to find out if it is not something like that then I would let him know he will not be speaking to you like that and stick to whatever punishment you decide and follow thru with it|||when he says something bad just give him a whip on the hand take charge and dose his teacher allow this behavior just remember you are the parent not him!|||I think that the key to the problem at this age is breaking their will but not their spirit. To do this is so hard to find balance but suggestions are , let him earn big things like restaurant visits etc. but don't take away everything. they have to have motivation of some kind so if you ground them from all fun then they will be depressed on the other hand if you give them everything they will not respect they will expect. They should expect love and kindness but not huge parties and all the toys they want.so if he is rude ground for 2 day s from one thing and keep adding make sure you let good behavior get good consequences .|||In today's society Yup it's pretty much normal unfortunately.
Ok the phrase above: "Well, you're annoying me, and it needs to stop."
Sounds pretty grown up. Where could he have heard this before?
Sometime children pick up what they hear around them.
Have you tried explaining to him how hurtful he is being? That children should not speak to adults in that manner?
If that doesn't get through then try discipline. Grounding from television for a couple days... Taking away privileges....
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